I’m a long distance bicyclist. I love being out on my bike. I have ridden my bike across the state of Nebraska six times. I want to go again this year and am hoping to ride a couple of other states as well. The first year I did this was in 1983. Nebraska has lots of wide open spaces. Sometimes that means no toilets. Maybe, a tree or two, maybe a hay bale, if you’re lucky.
The first year I did this, I needed to find a tree or a hay bale, in the worst way. I kept thinking the same thing, I need a bathroom. I need a bathroom. I NEED A BATHROOM!
Finally, at the crest of a hill, I spotted a hamburger joint. YES!!! As, I got closer, I realized the restaurant was closed. Not only was it closed, it was run down and in disrepair. I kept riding and noticed bicycles parked in front and along the sides. I went around the corner and someone from the ride stood over a grill and cooked hamburgers. He had a helper who sold ice tea. I love ice tea! I love hamburgers! The first thing I asked, “Do you have a restroom?” Yep, there was one around back. Great, let’s have ice tea and hamburgers. I drank three glasses of tea and ate a couple of hamburgers.
I went around back and saw lots of bikers hiking their way back and forth. I asked, “Is there a restroom around here?”
A lovely man with a British accent laughed and looked reflective. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a restroom.”
Okay, I trotted on. I came upon what I could only describe as a former hog shed with a tarp draped across the front. A tractor wheel in the center with several rolls of toilet paper scattered about the rim. No, way, no how. I turned around and marched the other way. But, I really do need to use the toilet. I just drank tea. I just ate a hamburger. Who knows when or where the next toilet will be? I turned back around and headed towards the tractor tire. I looked again at the “set-up.” Nope, I’m a city girl, born and bred. I turned around again. Back and forth I went. Essentially, pacing over whether or not to use said tractor tire for its intended purpose.
And the winner?
Mother Nature. She always wins.