Sayings

We all know someone who has a “saying.” My dad had “sayings” but he didn’t use them every waking moment. His favorite was, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.” He said it a lot, a lot being over my lifetime.

I know someone who has a saying. It’s not that the saying is so annoying; it’s just he says it several times a day, all day long. “Have a smooth day,’ or a variable, “Smooth all day.” Of course, this is a nice sentiment by any standard. I suppose it’s the same as saying, “Have a nice day.” Over time people have shortened that to the really annoying, “Have a good one.” My thought process is always the same, Have a good one, what? Do you mean day, week, or criminal enterprise? Have a good illicit drug use? Why can’t people finish the sentence? Is it so hard to actually finish saying it? Are we so lazy in America, we can’t even finish a sentence anymore?

What if we all just stopped what we were saying and never really finished it? Let’s take, for instance, Walter Cronkite. What if he shortened his infamous saying, “And that’s the way it….”

“Another one bites the….”

The only thing we have to fear is…

“No one comes to the Father except through….

So, technically we have shortened, “Have a good day” to “Have a good one.” We could add the word one in these instances.

“And that’s the way it one.”

“Another one bites the one.”

“The only thing we have to fear is one. “

“No one comes to the Father except through one.”

One of the reasons I find, “Have a good one” so annoying is, I knew a guy who said it.all.the.time. I worked in a jewelry kiosk in a mall. The young man didn’t just say it, he’d shout it. In fact, he’d shout it from the very end of the mall. It didn’t matter that I had a job and was WORKING! He’d find me talking to customers, talking on the phone, punching a hole in the ear of a child who had to have their ears pierced and he’d start shouting. Piercing ears requires a gun. Granted, it’s not deadly, but to a child who really wants those cute bunny earrings seeing some strange woman leaning towards you with a gun only to have the already frightening experience ruined by a maniac intent on wishing you a good one can be traumatizing. I would acknowledge his greeting with a wave, smile and or happy dance, but he’d still keep shouting. Possibly, fifteen times in ten seconds he’d shout, “Have a good one! Have a good one! Have a good one!” You get the idea.

Yesterday, after purchasing my groceries the cashier handed me my receipt and said it. I’m afraid to say it nearly caused a psychotic episode. I believe my eyes bulged and my hands shook while I retrieved my change.

“Have a smooth day.” Somehow, best intentions aside, this greeting always seems to jinx the rest of my day. I can have a perfectly lovely day, and then I get “Smooth all day.” The phones go crazy, we are swamped, and an angry caller calls in. Someone almost plows into my car and an annoying fly keeps landing on my salad. My day ends up being anything but smooth. That’s why I’ve come to hate, Smooth.

And it’s too bad, because I love the word smooth. I love old westerns where a cow hand comes in off the trail and he takes a drink of a whiskey or a beer and he wipes his lips and says, “Smooth.” When my nephew was little, I took a drink of water and did this. I imitated the old cowboys. My nephew quickly gulped down his beverage and imitated me with his own special twist, “Bumpy.”

My friend is a nice guy, but like a lot of people, he overuses this saying. I’ve even come to hate the word, saying. People tend to use it in their posts. “I’m just saying…” Well, technically, you are writing it, but that’s beside the point. When people say, “I’m just saying…” They are really making a snarky comment that they have no business commenting on in the first place.

“I’m just saying” you should have done this. That’s what it amounts to. Should have is not helpful. If the deed is already done, what is the point of bringing up what you think should have transpired? What you should have done is worthless, so is, I’m just saying… And don’t forget the three periods or ellipsis…to indicate the loss in thought/snarky commentary.

Equally annoying is the overused, LOL. People have come to use it as punctuation in their posts. “I just went to the mall.” Lol. I ate a tomato. Lol. I have a date. Lol. I like tuberculosis. Lol. In the past, I have used lol. I don’t mind it, unless it is overused, and it is definitely overused. What people usually really mean is I giggled a bit. I smiled. Once in a great while, I might read something that I find very funny, so I make some sort of snorting guffaw. I recognize that it’s easier to type, lol, then, I snorted a giant guffaw.

Hopefully, we call be more mindful of the sayings we overuse.

So, that said, have a good one, smooth day, lol. Just saying…

Ugh…

What are the sayings you dislike?

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About rhondamhall

I am employed full time and am a humor writer & bicycle enthusiast.
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5 Responses to Sayings

  1. G M Barlean says:

    Sometimes I think if I read, “just sayin’,” one more time, I’ll have to bang my head against the wall. I’m with you on LOL and the dreaded, ROFLMAO… no one does this. It’s dumb. What, are you 5 years old? Who rolls on the floor laughing their fanny off?! No one, I tell you. Not one person who is sane.
    I now, no longer like the word smooth. Just sayin’…

  2. rhondamhall says:

    Oh, Gina. I know. Great point, only little piggies roll around and squeal with delight. Your comment made me snort with laughter. You know… You know, another overused saying. 🙂

  3. The first time I ever heard a grown man say “My bad” I wanted to say, “What are you? A twelve-year-old girl?” Now I hear people say it all the time. Another thing I hear people say is, “What up?” Now we don’t even have time for simple contractions?

  4. julieburgii says:

    I’ll give you my pet peeve saying: “There but for the grace of God go I.” What does that mean? It sounds like a heck of a lot of judgment going on. It is exactly not what you think it means! See a street person, who could be a homeless vet? “There but for the grace of God go I.” Grace is a gift received by you from God, and not for anything you have done to deserve it, just like the scripture says. Homelessness. Jail sentences. Having your car hit by a drunk driver. Grace from God does not save you from any of that. The strong possibility exists that the homeless vet, the incarcerated prisoner, the drunk driver all know who their Lord and Savior is and have received his grace.

    Good post. Now you know what makes my eyes bulge.

    Now, have a nice one. 🙂 And try to do it smoothly.

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